10 Keys to Developing Self Confidence

Some methods and techniques for developing self-confidence

 “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”
 Eleanor Roosevelt

These are some ‘self-help’ ways for you to start your journey of developing self-confidence.

1. Everyone is good at something so, each day, identify a different thing you’re good at and morning and evening, spend some time focusing on it and saying out loud, “I’m very good at …”. It doesn’t need to be major – maybe something like baking a cake, supporting your friends, DIY, finding bargains, collecting stamps. At the end of each day add it to a list, watch as the list grows and be proud of these things.

2. Never fear failure! Successful people fail more often than the average person because they take more risks, they’re prepared to fail and they LEARN from their failures – that’s what they’re for. Each failure is a step closer to success. 

Think about a professional athlete who fails to win the race. Does s/he withdraw from athletics feeling inferior? I don’t think so; they acknowledge what they did right, identify what was wrong, find a better way to do it, and practice until they improve.

3. Initially when goal setting, only set goals you know you can achieve, rather than setting yourself up to fail. This will help your self-esteem. Later you can start to challenge yourself with more ambitious goals.

4. Recognise that no-one succeeds at everything they do. The ‘expert’ skier may not be able to write a poem, an excellent cook may not be able to use a computer.

5. Even the most confident people have something they’re not sure about. They’re not perfect; don’t create stress for yourself by believing you have to be.

6. Understand that lacking in confidence is a state of mind. In this state you become a self-confessed victim and this changes your behaviour. Other people don’t see you as a failure until your behaviour tells them you are.

7. Dramatic changes rarely happen. More often it’s the little changes on a daily basis that matter. If you grow even a little each day, you’ll be amazed at the end of a year how far you’ve come. So keep a diary/record of where you started so you can see the differences at the end of the year. Make sure your daily habits and attitudes count, and congratulate yourself on your achievements.

8. Don’t be around people who make you feel negative about yourself. Their negativity is THEIR problem and has nothing to do with you! Most likely they put you down to make themselves feel better about their low self-esteem. Try to find people who lift you and appreciate you.

9. Don’t try to do it all on your own. Even if you can make some progress it will be much quicker if you seek some support from a mentor or undertake some and confidence coaching.

10. Stop being hard on yourself!